


Inside

by nityge



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 13:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8892598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nityge/pseuds/nityge
Summary: Kylo Ren infiltrates the resistance base. As Matt the Radar Technician.





	1. Chapter 1

„I am....“

He looks in the mirror. Wondering if he has changed. He has indeed. His hair cut down to his jawline, dyed in an ugly strawberry blond. His eyes hide behind huge glasses, promoting his nose in a ridiculous way. He hates his looks. But this isn't new.

_At least I don't have the scar._

The Supreme Leader had made sure of that. „My dear boy, we can't let you look like a monster.“

_I’m still a monster. A smooth face doesn't change that._

But for a couple of days or maybe weeks he will pretend he’s someone else. A nice, harmless guy who does his job and nothing else. Who sympathizes with the resistance and fears the First Order. Who would never risk a thing or pick up a weapon.

 

****

  
It's easy to get into the lion’s den. He slips in when a civilian ship is attacked by Kylo Ren’s Upsilon-class shuttle.

_His shuttle._

But he's not him yet. He's a victim. Traumatized and scared of the past and the future.

_Maybe they were in search for scrap parts or weapons. They took some of the youngsters, killed the rest. I have hidden until your pilots showed up._

_Of course I was scared. I'm not a brave man. Never been._

_It was like hell. The shooting, the screams. I thought, I would die too. Guess, I was lucky._

_Kylo Ren? You think it was his ship? I don't know. I didn't see a thing. I ducked away. Until it was over._

_A pilot? No, no. I’m a just a Radar Technician._

_Matt, I’m Matt._

_That's fine. I understand that I can't work on radar. Mechanics will do for me._

 

****

 

He's in the sleeping barracks, sitting on a tiny bunk. There are others around. Chatting, laughing. It's noisy and smelly. He sighs and lies down. Sleep won't come easy in this place. He's used to be alone at night. The noises are changing from chatting to snoring. Suddenly moans. Above him. There are slapping sounds too. Increasingly louder.

_Great, the guy above me is jerking off._

More moans. Closer now. Then some scratching. Then silence.

_Maybe that's what you are reduced to do in a place like this._

He touches his dick, testing the waters.

No, he won't go there. It's disgusting. He would have to think about something sexy. No, someone sexy. He thinks of the girl, the scavenger. How she had felt in his arms. How he thought about her when he laid her down. On a bunk like this.

_I can take whatever I want._

His dick is hardening. He wills it away. He won't go there.

A monster would do that. But he's not a monster. Not like him. He's Matt the Radar Technician. There's nothing special in his life. Nothing to fantasize about. Only tools, parts and wires.

 _Yes, tools, parts and wires. That's it. Tools, parts and wires. Tools_...

The monster drifts to slumber. And awakes as a man.

 

****

 

His first shifts are easygoing. He knows how to repair things. He's not very fast or efficient. But he manages his assignments. His boss, a woman called Yazz, is pleased with his efforts.

„Matt, you’re okay. Maybe a little bit slow. But that's okay.“

„Thank you, Ma’am. I’m trying my best to please you.“

The lady giggles.

„Sure, you do.“

And sends him to his next assignment.

_Hangar 7. A ship is approaching. It needs some repair. Nothing known. There were problems with the hyperdrive motivator. The pilot will tell you._

_You are new._

_Yes, Ma’am. I just arrived._

_I’m Rey._ _  
_

_Matt._

_I know._

_No, it's on your name tag._

_You know your way around ships? That's great. I definitely need help._

_Haven't figured it out yet. Let's go inside. The hyperdrive doesn't take the right coordinates._

_Matt? What's the problem? Are you okay? You are shaking. Let's get you outside._

_Breathe. We're out again._

Fresh air again. A warm hand touching his forehead. She smiles at him.

„You scared me.“

„I’m fine.“ _Breathe!_ „The ship, I had been with, was attacked by the First Order. I’m the sole survivor.“

„Oh, that's fucked.“

A touch on his arm.

„Yeah. Very much.“

„I could send for someone else?“

„No.“ _No, no, no._ „No, please. I will be fine.“

Another caress of his arm. Gentle. Comforting. She's touching his shirt. Not his skin, where the sleeve has been rolled up. But still he feels the burn. On his skin. Inside his heart. She sees the man, not the monster. It hurts him more than it hurts to go back inside.

_What a fuck._

 


	2. Chapter 2

That guy Matt is fucked up. That's pretty clear. When he goes down on his knees in the middle of the Falcon’s cockpit, she instinctively knows what to do. _Get him out there. At once._

At the bottom of the ramp she helps him to settle down, a hand on his forehead.

„We’re out again.“ She states more to herself.

He stares at her. Doesn't say a word. No thank you. Nothing. It's weird. She never had a guy passed out at her feet.

„You scared me.“

„I’m fine.“

He breaks his stare, looks down at his hands.

„The ship, I had been with, was attacked by the First Order. I’m the sole survivor.“

„Oh, that's fucked.“

She pets his arm.

„Yeah. Very much.“

_Great. The guy would be of no help. Not in his state._

„I could send for someone else?“

„No. No, please. I will be fine.“

He looks back at her, blank face.

She knows, she will regret it. But she decides to give him a chance. Again she touches his arm. To soothe him and get him back on his feet.

 

****

 

The second time the guy keeps his shit together. He accepts her lead, listens closely. Obviously used to follow commands. Or maybe he's just shy. Or scared to do something wrong. She cannot tell. But she would like to know.

Rey sends him down into the ship’s belly to check the hyperdrive’s scales while she running the computer system.

„I don’t think it's the oscillator. The compensation temperature is on a normal level.“

„But that must be the reason.“ _Does the guy knows what he's talking about?_

She hears him crawling deeper into the ship.

Then a slap and a curse.

„Matt, you’re ok?“

She climbs down the ladder, crawls into the tunnel until she's behind him.

„I just hit my head. I forgot how tall I am.“ He turns around. His face sweating and slick with grease. „The lock washer of the aileron. It's loose.“

She's gaping at him.

„I can weld it together. Tomorrow. If you like.“

„Yeah. Nice.“ She's searching for words. „Tomorrow would be nice.“

She turns and crawls back outside.

 

*****

  
The mess hall is no longer crowed. Most people are done with dinner. Rey sits together with Finn and his friend Poe Dameron, half-hearted listening to their silly jokes.

She's watching Matt, who's sitting a couple tables ahead. Alone with his back turned to them.

„Peanut. What's up? Something bothering you?“ Finn nudges at her.

„No, nothing.“ She sighs. „Or maybe. You see that guy ahead of us? He had been in that ship. That one our pilots had dispossessed from the First Order.“

„Larry told me about it. Must have been a pretty bloody mess.“ Poe turns around to take a look at Matt.

„Yeah. Kylo Ren did whole work.“ Finn makes some moves like spinning a lightsaber. „So, he’s the one who survived?“

„I feel sorry for the guy. He came to the hangar to help me with the Falcon. And nearly lost it.“

„Total understandable. I would pee in my pants if Kylo Ren rampages beside me while I’m hiding in a closet.“

„I wondering what I can do to light him up.“

„Who do you want to light up?“ Jessica Parker sits down beside Rey.

„A guy named Matt.“ Finn gives her heads-up, nodding towards Matt’s direction.

„Is he good looking?“

„Jess!“

„What?"

„Our doctor Rey here thinks, the guy is traumatized.“

„Finn! I’m not saying, he's traumatized. But maybe he could need some help to adjust. To forget. Maybe he just needs a friend..."

Jess shrieks excited and gets up, pulling Rey with her.

„Let's make a friend.“

 


End file.
